Updated: Jul 5
MJ: I came to know FEAR as False Evidence Appearing Real. I was that person who would scoff when PTSD was mentioned. “Why don’t they just get over it? If it’s that big of a problem, they just need to stop thinking about it.” Heartless from ignorance. I didn’t know what PTSD was because I believed I had never experienced it. The reality was, even before domestic abuse, I had experienced trauma at different times in my life and repressed those memories the best I could; but, because I didn’t get help, those events impacted future decisions in negative ways that would be detrimental to myself! After I left my abuser, the abuse that I had experienced seemed to have penetrated me to a cellular level rendering me completely dysfunctional. How? I thought if I spoke my full name, he would hear me and appear out of thin air. I was terrified of driving. I could no longer have a conversation without stuttering. I glanced around my living room every time I unlocked the front door. Was he there? No. The large white box truck barreling down behind me was not him about to kill me. What was wrong with me?! I think the term PTSD is incorrect and should be changed to PTMO. Post Traumatic Memory Occurrence. It seems to be my every day M.O. now. Percell, what are your insights?
Percell: We have many labels that we then attach to fear according to its cause (phobias, the five ‘types’ as named by Dr. Karl Albrecht, and the above-mentioned PTSD). More simply, real Fear is an emotional response to an unknown… that which is separated from us and our understandings. We fear not having; enough money, a good enough house, a reliable vehicle, a good enough job, a requited love, all because we do not know what will happen if those things were not acquiesced within our lives or realms of understandings.