MJ: Through dating the last few years, I have learned how I like and do not like to be treated. Through this understanding, I now realize I do not have to stay with someone who says one thing but does something different. That was always confusing to me in the past. I tended to believe someone's word over their actions. Now I may have tilted too far in the opposite direction, but tend to believe someone’s actions over their words. I believe this either/or happens when their words do not line up with their actions. I tend to feel a bit colder in my assessments towards men now. Not quick to judge necessarily, but given time if I see the same patterns of inconsistency, I end the relationship. Not being immediately vested in a man as in the past has made me a champion relationship ender. With everyone having faults, have I set myself up to not ever being hurt again by a man? Have I set myself to being single the rest of my life? Percell: The short answers are, “No” and “Yes”. No, you are set up never to be hurt again. Firstly, when we build these types of walls, we are blocking off the very part of us that needs to connect to someone in a relationship. So, even if you were to meet someone, you are the initial problem in the relationship. It seems that this type of action is a good idea, but building walls to protect your heart from hurt is like covering a plate with a napkin to stop yourself from eating too much.
Yes, you have set yourself up to be single; for life, remains to be seen. Of course, this is for the same reason as the other. Hurt and disappointment are natural parts of life. It is how we accept and process these things that makes the differences. Being careful has its form in the root word to care. One must open the heart to do this. Being vigilant is a different act. It is one of guard and avoidance. One can never enter into even the possibility of a meaningful relationship in this manner.